5.18.2004
::Sleepless::
Sleep does not come as I allow my eyes to shut.
There are too many thoughts cycling through my mind.
I'm haunted by ghoulish nightmares and memories.
Worries creep from the trenches I tried to place them.
My heart aches for family and friends I long to aid.
Secrets ring in my ears and echo through my skull.
As I lay still my head spins while my stomach sinks.
With eyes closed, past images replay against my lids.
Regrets are revisited, horrors and shame are relived.
Forever exists between minutes, eternity between hours.
Sleep does not come as I allow my eyes to shut.
Hot tears lay tracks along the curves of my face.
Above my head, guilt hovers just like a dark cloud.
Repressed feelings break free of their emotional bonds.
Exhausted, my body feels sore from head to toe.
Whispers, insults, arguments, all compete to be heard.
Overwhelmed, my throat tightens as I lay trembling.
Vision blurs, I reach for my glasses but still no focus.
Too ashamed to call out for help, darkness envelopes me.
Forever exists between minutes, eternity between hours.
Sleep does not come in the darkness.
Sleep does not come as the sun rises.
Sleepless.
# posted by Rochelle : 6:02:00 AM
5.03.2004
::Half::
You saw me physically weakened, but that did not make me half of a woman.
I now have one fallopian tube and ovary, but that does not make me half of a woman.
The pains I experience in trying to recover do not make me half of a woman.
Your pity filled stare is not going to make me feel like half of a woman.
If I let myself stay weakened and felt sorry for myself, I would be half of a woman.
Not being able to keep my head up and hopeful for my future would make me half of a woman.
Letting the pain keep my spirits down would make me half of a woman.
Falling for your pitiful stare and giving up would make me half of a woman.
Survival has made me stronger, which in turn makes me more of a woman.
My children will grow up knowing what I've been through, seeing me as more of a woman.
The pains will be overcome with time and I will recover as more of a woman.
Your eyes will see that your pity was misplaced, because I choose to be more of a woman.
# posted by Rochelle : 11:03:00 PM
